Living With Grandma, Day 1

Today was both a whirlwind and uneventful.

I got here as Grandma and M were headed to the Alzheimer's appointment*. After they left, I cleaned out the fridge and set up my office. I needed a few things, so I went to Target.

I got home from Target and Grandma was here alone. The cleaning crew called, but Grandma answered, and I picked up the other phone to listen:

"Hi, this is C, I'm on my way over to clean your house."
"Don't come! Don't come today! I have family in from Oklahoma and it just won't work. Come next week!"
"Uhm, ok, I..."
"Will this bother your finances?"
"No, no, it's ok."
(Me, quietly:) "Please come. It's ok." (She didn't hear me over Grandma's continued protesting.)
"Just come next week. Or next month."
"OK."

M called C back and said to come. Grandma was so set on their not coming, I didn't know what to do. "Catastrophic reactions" is a term I learned recently in relation to Alzheimer's. Not something I want to experience.

M suggested nap time, so I started rubbing my eyes and acting sleepy. I said, "Graham, I'm tired. Let's take naps."
"Oh good! I wanted to lie down too. I'll lay down in the main room." This is the room the cleaning crew would come to first. Drat.

I met them in the driveway and told them, "She really doesn't want you here, but just do your thing no matter what she says, please."

They walked in and Grandma said, "I told you not to come!!"
"They were in the neighborhood, Graham."
"Oh. But I don't want them to clean."
"They're here to clean." (Aside to the lady, "I sure wouldn't complain if you showed up to clean my house!")
"OK, then."

They came, they cleaned, they conquered. All that effort for a house cleaning. Sheesh. She followed them around, bossing and directing. They would make eye contact with me, I'd nod, and they'd do whatever anyway. They mentioned they've noticed her decline, too, and are glad she won't be living alone anymore. Both have parents with a memory condition, so they recognized the signs. She's also been giving them things (like a mixer and boxes of soda). It makes them uncomfortable to take it, but she gets angry with them if they don't take it. She gave them a box of soda today, but left it behind, and tonight, Grandma was very upset that they hadn't taken it.

So that happened. We went to the grocery store, which is a whole 'nuther adventure I'll just sum up as, again, eventful and uneventful all at once.

We came home, she napped and I went running (BOY did I RUN). I made dinner, and all was well. Except her yelling at me over the Bachelorette. She has no idea what kind of dangerous ground she was on by doing that. ;) I found a new wine jug under the stove (the gallon-sized kind). Where did she get that??

Then Whirlwind II. Grandma went off to the bathroom and while she was in there, Tiger, the dog, had a seizure. My mom's dog does this too, except Tiger, when he was finished seizing, couldn't walk. I watched him struggle to stand, struggle harder to walk, and then fall over about 4 times on his way outside. Then I watched him outside, looking for a "spot", struggle to walk and stand and squat. Poor fellow. I also saw a roach the size of a skateboard on the back porch. Awe. Some.

Grandma came back from the bathroom and I told her what had happened. She burst into tears and said, "I'll have to put him down!!" I said we should call M tomorrow and tell him what happened. She said, "I think he has a friend who can come to the house so we can just bury him in the backyard..."

This is a Godsend. Part of this whole ordeal is sending two of her three dogs to see Jesus. I was really having a hard time with Tiger, as he seemed perfectly healthy. So this situation convinced Grandma and me that it's time for Tiger to see Jesus.

But wait! There's more!

I heard a crash. I ignored it. Things break, oh well. Then Grandma came into the kitchen with part of a broken wine bottle, and all the little pieces in her other hand. Oh sh*t. We carefully wrapped the broken bottle in about 10 plastic bags, and I checked her hands for shards. Then I asked her where she was standing when it broke, so I could check for glass (and maybe find her secret alcohol stash). "I was standing right here by the refrigerator." No, it was down the hall somewhere. After some talking, she told me the bathroom.

Glass shards. On the floor. Grandma is often bare-footed.

She. Cannot. Live. Alone. Anymore.

As I was digging out the vacuum, I heard her call Sandy, Everyone's Favorite Neighbor, to ask for her divine wisdom about Tiger. I heard her invite her over for coffee in the morning to "meet my granddaughter." I surmised from Grandma's response that Sandy wisely declined. I am not ready to face that woman, especially not first thing in the morning.

I vacuumed up the shards, and then Grandma wanted to know if I'd been in her house before, and if I'd ever seen her backyard. She also said she hasn't talked to B (her daughter) in awhile, although they've talked several times over the last few days (nights). She's also brought up M (my husband) many, many times today, saying how handsome he is. This is after we started the day with her asking if I was married yet.

She's also started saying "I know I've asked you that before" after everything she asks, even if it's the first time.

A completely non-descript, yet eventful day.

*M will report the official word to the masses when he's ready, but in a nutshell, she's a textbook case.