Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept...

• Diet grape juice? Check.
• Wine with twist-off top? Check.
• Grape soda bottle? Check. (Can't bring myself to dump out a gallon of perfectly good water.)

Drive toward home, stop in alley. Dump out soda, refill bottle with wine. Refill wine bottle with grape juice, tighten top. Sticky fingers! Walk in door with bag of groceries, stand in front of wine bottle and dump in a bunch of lemon juice. Surprise! I bought you the bottle of wine you've been asking for.

Overjoyed!

Mission: Accomplished.